Missing The Innocence

I wish I wasn't waiting.
This place gets smaller everyday. 
We all have characters and we know the parts we play.
We're actors and actresses,
that's all. Please take me away. 
I just want to start over.
There are things I'd like to change.

I miss the innocence, 
when the doors all stood wide open.
The sun's gone down on better days.

If I let you know, nothing can last forever.
I never thought everything would change.
If I let it go, nothing can last forever.
I never thought everything would change.
Well, maybe I did. Just not today.

I never thought that things would change.
I miss the innocence.

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Full House

It's all in the shuffle, 
the deck is stacked against you.
"Place your bets, it's your last chance!"
Then you fold your hand before you play the game. 
You never want to sacrifice,
because to you it's all unfair.
So wear that poker face and try to shrug it off. 

If seeing is believing then you might as well beblind,
because the searching leaves you faithless and the
outcome undefined.
But still you wait for something, for someone, to let
down.
You're losing again.

There is never a question it all goes unnoticed,
there is nothing to risk or to gain.
You're so used to being used to everything.

Still, you never want to sacrifice,
because to you it's all unfair.
The more that you hold on the more it slips away.

Again and again, you try to make some sense
But it all turns out the same.
What has changed?
Then you find that you're just the same
as anybody.
So tell me now, who is left to blame?

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Looking Up

You figured this should be natural.
It's just what you need but too much keeps getting in
your way. 
You know it's never that easy.
You know it always gets complicated.
Now you're frantic, suspicious, and you pay a price
for everything 
It might be the only chance you get.
After a life time of regrets, it finally looks like
things are looking up so don't look down.
I don't want to see you falling.

You thought you would have all the answers,
but what's right now seems to be all wrong.
You're fed up. You give up. You've come too far for
far too long.

Too much is expected of you,
so are you going to make the right decision now?
What's left for the loyal?
You're empty-handed once again.

What's left for the loyal?
I don't want to see you falling down. 

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Bite My Nails

Is this part of the game you play?
Do you try to make me feel this way?
You try to sell me something
that you don't believe. 
For you it's easier this way.
I never did hear you complain.
So now I stand aside,
bite my nails while you decide. 
I wish that I could hate you, but I can't.
I wish that you would vanish, 
but you're too hard to forget.
I won't do it if it isn't right,
but you're not willing to compromise.

You think you've got me figured out.
You think you know what I'm about.
I don't think you would be surprised,
you have to know how hard I've tried.

And after all the time we've spent,
would it be something you would regret?
Would you feel the need to stay,
or turn your back and walk away.

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Dawn To Dusk

Fed up, knocked down.
Withdrawn from everything that once was comfortable.
So much for routine.
You're weighted down, sinking.
Swimming against the stream that once carried you
home, took you to the place where you belonged. 
I thought I heard you crying out.
I thought I heard you say goodbye.
It doesn't matter where you are, 
your shadow is close behind.

You know your reflection doesn't lie.
You see a tired face through sullen, sunken eyes.
A portrait of regret.
It won't let you forget.
Still tangled in the net you thought you'd left behind,
just to find you can't run from yourself.

I thought I heard you crying out.
I thought I heard you say goodbye.
It doesn't matter where you are, 
your shadow is close behind.

You're wearing down, but still the same.
Dawn to dusk..
Day to day.
You stagger on, shrouded in shame,
still haunted by shadows.
They're calling your name.

I thought I felt you reaching out.
Gasping just to stay alive.
Your shadow just gets longer as the sun falls from the sky.

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Underrated

I waited patiently for you to come around,
and I sacrificed my sanity to keep from breaking down.
I always thought of you and forgot about myself,
but the only one you care about is you and no one
else. 
I used to be so naive. 
You never cared about me.
Now I see that I can't achieve everything that you
want from me. 
Honesty was all I asked but you just let me down.
Countless times I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
You think that I'm a fool and you'll get away with it.
This time I'm not so willing to forgive and forget

Feeling unappreciated
Dedication? Understated.
Everything is so complicated, 
I think that I'm underrated.
You said you could handle it.
You said "Go ahead and quit".
Now you'll finally get your wish, 
so just try not to choke on it.

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Walk On Water

As I came to my wits end 
it was easier to break than bend.
You said that I lost my faith 
but I think it was taken from me. 
Never could let my guard down.
Once again I start to drown,
because the water that you said to walk on
suddenly gave way beneath me. 
Once again you prove yourself, 
and I'd expect it out of someone else.
But it's the best laid plans that often run astray.
Yeah I know it sounds cliché, but it seems the more
things changethe more things stay the same.

And that's proved to make me wise as I look through
tired eyes.

Don't ask me to walk on water,
meet you on the other side.
As you stand there looking blankly past me,
now I've finally realized that

I was never good enough,
I could never do enough, 
I was only strong enough, to pick you
up and carry you again.

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Friday Mourning

A desperate breath inhaled, then it leaves you.
Hollowed out, and you struggle to feel something.
Abandoned eyes that drowned in the disbelief and
doubt, when you woke up Friday morning. 
It still seems so surreal.
These scars should slowly heal.
I remember when you kneeled, you didn't say goodbye.
You knew she wasn't gone.
You whispered, 
"Until we meet again, you'll be
watching me, I know.
Please save a place for me and when I'm finally
called back home, I'll see you smiling there." 
The angels in your bedroom softly sing her name.
It's getting easier to sleep now.
So you feel some comfort, but still it's not the same.
But it's better than the twisted silence.

You woke up Friday morning.

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Pivot

I can't see the future 
I can't read your mind
What once seemed bright and hopeful now is gone and
left behind. 
Until you know what you want,
you can't expect me to understand your logic or
explain the things you do. 
Don't try to pin the blame on me.
You've run me dry of everything.
I try to speak, unanswered.
Too many times you've walked away.
You only hear what's right for you. 

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Something For Everyone

My pain is never ending, 
I feel it grow inside.
Frustration overwhelms me
there's no place left to hide. 
My mind is always racing.
These things can't stay the same.
I want to see the difference,
I want to see the change. 
I'm standing outside for you to decide,
but I don't want to wait.
And I tried to be strong as we went along,
and you said nothing changed.
So what's left to believe? 
I'm not going to leave, there's nothing left to say.
Don't say you were blind because I never lied.

I'm just hoping now that you'll remember me.

You know just what you're doing,
because you do it oh so well.
And maybe you tried to fool me,
but I never fooled myself.

Your story is always changing,
but things still stay the same.
And sometimes I long to see you, 
and sometimes I stay away.

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Pin The Tail On The Donkey

As I kick myself again, 
and I try to pick myself back up again,
Don't want to make the same mistakes. 
Always the first with an excuse,
but it's when you're cornered by the truth.
Sometimes it's easier that way. 

As you turn away
When realization stares you down,
And you swear you've come to terms, I'm wary.
I've seen it all too many times.

It never made much sense,
So I always had to stop and second guess.

Defeat myself before I start.

Comfort seems so far away.
Peace of mind is just a luxury.
Forgetting is the hardest part.

It's not what you say that matters,
because anyone can say those words to me.
You say I lack compassion,
but that's when my first reaction
isn't how you wanted me to be.

As I kick myself again,
and I try to pick myself back up again.
Don't want to make the same mistakes.

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Sleeptight

Please look out your window.
You'll see the stars outside.
Just think of how wide the sky is,
before you close your eyes tonight 

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