(written by: David Allan Coe) 

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Hop with the Jet Set

I say, come on! 
To pleasure unknown 
Where we fly to when we are all bored 
C'mon for the ride 
And hop with the jet set tonight 

We'll sun ourselves red down in Montego Bay 
Hotel-hired guards keep the natives away 

We wanna save the whales 
We'll go watch them feed, 
Buzz around them in boats 
'Til they won't breed 
Just here for the ride 
Then we hop wit the jet set tonight 

check out them Indians' ancestral art 
Some of that would look cute up on our walls 
Yeah, suit it just fine 
When you hop with the jet set tonight 

We'll hire out some poachers to go steel their dolls 
Who cares if they're sacred-they look awful cute 

National Geographic found a stone age tribe 
Let's feed them their first hot dogs on film 
Won't that be a prize 
To show the jet set tonight 

"Aren't they cute, aren't they pure..." 
Muse subscribers back home 
Next weekend the junta exterminates them 

Back home by the sea at our outdoor cafe 
Our chameleon tongues catch the flies in the air 

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Dear Abby

Dear Abby, 
Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. It's 
important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. But we just 
can't afford to with the prices the way they are. so I bring home some 
choice cuts from my autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper...and 
ta-da! 

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what's 
my secret. Abby, I think they're getting suspicious. My smart-ass 
8-year-old keeps asking, "Where's all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that's 
kept in the fridge." 

If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what 
do I tell my family? 

DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body's 
blessed and everything should be just fine. 

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Rambozo the Clown

Got a deadly toy 
To brainwash your boy 

An egocentric muscle thug 
Kicks butt on screen like a brat outa hell 
Bullshitter in the Indochina shop 
Pull the string in his back, we win the war 

That we never should have started at all 

A cabbage patch terrorist to call our own 
Who rewrites history with a machine gun 
Don't think about it-KILL IT 
That's what we teach your child 

CHORUS 
RAMBOZO 
RAMBOZO 
RAMBOZO the Clown 

To draft age kids 
It sure looks like fun... 
"Kill 'em all 
and let God sort 'em out." 

Like video games-no mess 
Just fuel for a mass lapse of common sense 
You can be Don Quixote 
We'll dice you with our windmill blades 

Brawn over brain 
Means a happy ending 
G.I. Joe in the cereal bowl 
Grey shrapnel-flavored chewing gum 
Mass murder ain't just painless 
Now we've made it cute 

CHORUS 

War is sexy 
War is fun 
Iron Ego 
Red Dawn 

Be a wolverine. You'll rule the hills 
JUst get some guns and Cheerios 
Any kid can conquer Libya 
Just steal a fighter plane 

Look who came home in a wheelchair 
V.A. Hospital, they don't care 
"We're the machine 
You're just a tool." 
Who fell for the myth of Rambozo the Clown 

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Fleshdunce

We're world industry's thoughtlords 
The entertainment wing 
We keep you all in line 

By fixing your free will 
Surround you with pop fantasies 
Just slightly out of reach 
To soften all the blows 
Of your forced daily routine 

We strip-mine your underground culture 
Take the bite out and rinse it clean 
Give ourselves credit for creating it 
Then sell it back to you 
At twice the price 

Our pool of talent vampires 
Has blown into your town 
To dazzle, sign and milk you 
All strictly on our own terms 

You think you've got a lot to say 
We'll change that real soon 
You're not a person anymore 
We've made you a cartoon 

By the time we're through remolding you 
You won't even recognize your face 
There's no end to the eager beavers 
Drawn the moths to our Babylon's mirage 

Conveyor belt of fleshdunce 
They all want to do the fleshdunce 
Conveyor belt of fleshdunce 
Who all want to do the fleshdance 

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The Great Wall

Great Wall of China 
It's so big it's seen from outer space 
Put there to keep starving neighbors 
Locked outside the gates 

What's changed today? 
Empires hoard more than they need 
And peasant threaten our comfort 

We'll build a Great Wall around our power 
Build a Great Wall around our pownr 

Bankrupt L.A.'s streetcar line 
So people pay more to drive 
Plant strategic freeways 
To divide neighborhoods by color lines 

We'd rather pay for riot squds 
Than pump your ghetto back to life 
We let your schools decay on purpose 

To build a Great Wall around our power 
Another Great Wall around our power 

Warlords in grey suits 
Take a different route to work each day 
Second-hand green berets 
For the companies' private armies. 
We'll take all your gold 
BUt won't teach reading or feed your poor 
The League of Gentleman 
Would rather feed guns to puppet dictators 

There's too many people in your world 
And refugees are expensive 
When they trickled down onto our soil 
We hunt them and arrest them 
Classify them insane 
And put them back on the next plane 
To the waiting arms 
Of the same death squads they fled 

We've built a Great Wall around our power 
Economic Great Wall around our power 
Worldwide Great Wall around our power 

Give us your poor, 
Your tired and your weak 
We'll send 'em right back 
To their certain death 

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Shrink

If only people could shrink 
Our world wouldn't be so overcrowded 
Bring ourselves down to size 
There'd be so much more food to go 'round 

Why don't we build a machine 
With all the know-how of the industries 
We put a man on the moon 
On earth we'll need more room to breathe real soon 
Oh... 

Drink your vaccine and let's shrink 
And bring your poodle so it doesn't eat us 
The roads will be so wide 
No traffic jams when we're half a foot tall 

Bring what you need down here 
We'll shrink it all by microwave 
Don't wanna die like dinosaurs 
We'll have enough resources to go round 
Oh... 

So now you've made the big shrink 
Meanwhile we'll keep acting big 
We well-bred beautiful people 
Who says we have to go too? 

Cops and Mason businessmen 
Were exempted from the ovens 
As if you weren't already. 
the rest of you are all our termites now 
Oh... 

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Triumph of the Swill

Life can only get better 
All you need to do is fall in love 
Everyone else has fun but you 
Buy that fun you'll fit in too 

Dance your problems away 
GOVERNMENT MUSIC 
Cheap escape to that mind-control beat 
GOVERNMENT MUSIC 
Mellow out-Life's too hard 
You don't even want to think 

See the macho cock-rock metal heroes 
Vomit fire out of their big mouts 
Shake your fists obediently 
Make Leni Riefenstahl real proud 

See the Aryan bozo with the red guitar 
Parachute on the White House lawn 
Gonna bomb the commies with his air guitar 
So dumb he can't drive 55 

Like Bing Crosby before them 
GOVERNMENT MUSIC 
Too idiotic to be real 
GOVERNMENT MUSIC 
You want it loud? 
We'll make sure it goes nowhere 
So you won't get ideas 

CHORUS 
Triumph of the swill 
Triumph of the swill 
Triumph of the swill 
Triumph of the swill 

Music is banned in Khomeini's Iran 
On the grounds that it stimulates the brain 
We've done him one better in the land of coke and honey 
Using music to people's brains to sleep 

Ever wonder why commercial radio's so bad? 
It's cause someone upstairs wants it that way 
If the Doors or John Lennon were getting started now 
The industry wouldn't sign 'em in a million years 

So what do we get 
GOVERNMENT MUSIC 
Christian censorship and taxed blank tapes 
Shoppers strung out on our false hopes 
Will flock to obey 

CHORUS 

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Macho Insecurity

Name one thing on earth lower than a tough guy 
Who talks with his fists instead of using his head 
Who beats the shit out of anything it can't understand 
Behind the muscle mask is a scared little boy 

CHORUS 
Called macho insecurity 
Macho insecurity 
Macho insecurity 
'Cause you can't stand yourself 

Got a bitch with me? 
Why won't you say it to my face? 
It's so easy to mouth of to others 
But where's your proof? 
Maybe we can talk if you'd just drop your act 
Nothing's ever solved by making childish threats 

CHORUS 

Why do you want people to be so afraid of you? 
Why are you so scared of anything that's different? 
No one's ever there when you need friends 
You wonder why... 
It's 'cause you take yourself so seriously 
But being such a clown 
gives the rest of us the right to laugh 
At your macho insecurity 
'Cause you can't stand yourself 

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I Spy

You look at me fromhe back of the room 
All I see is a bumbling buffoon 
Head down like you don't see much 
UNtil you move in to make your bust 

CHORUS 
I spy for you and me 
I spy for you and me 

Disguised like you're one of the scene 
Just stand alone with no real friends 
Scared people will find out who you are 
Alone in the world without your telephone beeper 

CHORUS 

Curious folks ask questions of life 
But you can't answer cause your heart's like a knife 
Still you feel you sing the last song sung 
You're just a heartless piece of scum with a gun 

CHORUS 

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Cesspools in Eden

Poison is bubbling 
Beneath your dreamhome 
Buried there years before 

Kid runs in crying 
From playing in the garden 
"Mommy, I burned my hands!" 

"What's making our eyes so itchy?" 
"Don't rub 'em-they'll swell up." 

Oh...Oh Oh Oh 
It's the big waste dump 
Oh, yeah 

We built your ticky-tacky houses 
On landfill soil 
To cover up a gift 
We left you years before 

Of toxic chemicals 
And leaking gas 
Just dig a little while, 
You'll find our acid baths 

Cesspools 
In Eden 
Oozing away... 

Groundwater's poisoned 
Air stings like hell 
The lines for doctors growing long 

Over martinis 
The company laughs 
"We don't owe you one damn thing." 

But what about all these fainting spells? 
How'd you like a lick 
From my open sores 

And oh....oh oh oh- 
Why are our babies stillborn? 

A storage tank's leaking 
It's about to explode 
Why evacuate 
When you can watch the fun 

Nothing happens here 
Get out the lawn chairs 
We'll drink pink lemonade 
And watch Martinez burn 

Cesspools 
In Eden 
Oozing away 
Cesspools in Eden 
Leak by the day 

The land we sold you 
Is right atop our acid pits 
We fill them by the truckload 
In the dead of night 

There's thousands more toxic 
Tips of the iceberg 
We pay a little bribe 
Or we just don't report them 

And see what you get- 
Cesspools 
In Eden 
In Eden 
No accident- 
Just a little of our greed-fueled negligence 

So you've found the proof why 
Your cancer rate's shot up 
But whatcha gonna do 
When we've got all the cards 

Times Beach, Rocky Flats, 
Love Canal and Bhopal 
Merry Christmas, hostages 
From the folks who care 

Cesspools in Eden 
Oozing away 
Cesspools in Eden 
Leak by the day 
Cesspools in Eden 
Have a nice day 

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One-Way Ticket to Pluto

Countdown! 
Get ready for the blast off! 
And don't forget the hype! 
We're going into space. 

Distinguished scientists 
A pesky senator 
And monkey turds leaking from the lab 
All brought to us play-by-play by Howard Cosell 

You're going where no man has gone before 
Because we owe you some favors 
And besides you're bright 
A little too bright 

Step one: 
nator, your vomit, 
It's time to analyze it 
For the folks back home 

Open the hatch, launch the war satellite 
That the commies aren't supposed to know about 
Our real challenge is to keep it a secret 
From the press back home 

You're going where no man has gone before 
Don't ask us where that is-we have no idea 

You're chosen for this great mission 
Because you're hearty and strong 
and make a lot of fuss 
Especially around us 
We like you better when you're far away 

Have you noticed? 
You're gong the wrong direction. 
We have. 

But that's your problem. 
We planned it that way 
We had to dispose of all of you so 
We can spoil the final frontier 
How dare you question our Star Wars plans 
For the farce that they are? 

You're going where no man has gone before 
For rocking the boat 
In our temple of doom 

You're on a one-way ticket to Pluto 
We wash our hands 
Of you and your lost Ark 
Don't forget to write... 
NO NO NO NO NO 
NO NO NO NO NO 
NO NO NO NO NO 
NO... 

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Do the Slag

Have you heard about the latest craze 
That's sweepin' across the nation 
All the punks from coast to coast 
Have discovered an old invention: 

"Your hair's too long 
Man, you're a queer 
You're too new wave 
Put down that beer..." 

CHORUS 
Do the Slag...look at 'em run 
Do the Slaghey you scum 
Do the Slag-Ain't it fun 
Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb 

Badmouth people we don't know 
Make sure it's behind their backs 
Don't let new people in our scene 
It's more fun than having a friend 

We'll slag everyone each and every night 
So we can pretend that we're all right 
Make those pricks feel just so small 
We'll show the world that we're three feet tall 

Slander their integrity 
Doubt their humanity 
Talk about their haircuts 
Are their politics correct? 

CHORUS 

Don't let those sissies on the floor 
They're unhip, man, they bought the wrong clothes 
Let's all do the latest craze 
'Cause having allies never pays 

We'll slag everyone each and every night 
So we can pretend that we're all right 
Make those pricks feel just so small 
We'll show the world that we're three feet tall 

CHORUS 

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Gone with My Wind

Wake up! Get down here quick! 
the president's had too much to drink 
His days of power are about gone 
He's been talking to paintings in the hall 

He says, "I'm finished, so what the hell? 
My life is ruined, what matters now? 
I've always itched for that last great thrill... 
If I die all of you should too." 

CHORUS 
Gone with my wind 
Out with a bang 
I'm gonna end it all right now 
Gone with my wind 
Out with a bang 
You're coming with me, oh wow 

My bombs will rain down on D.C. 
We'll nuke our enemies while they're asleep 
We'll be safe in the ground below 
And laugh and drink till the cows come home 

So c'mon John, whadya say? 
It's been dancing in my head for years 
What'll happen if I push this button... 
Let's start World War III for fun 

CHORUS 

Mr. President, just sit down 
We should talk a little while, I'll pour another round 
What about your memoirs' TV rights? 
Sit tight--and watch the fire... 

Let go of me. Do you think I'm mad? 
To tell the truth, sir, I'd rather not say 
Just keep your paws inside your pockets 
And planet earth will be OK. 

But you reached for the button anyhow 
I had no choice but to knock you out 
That's just last night's bump on your head 
On to the next crisis, it's another day 

CHORUS 

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A Commercial

Have we got a telethon for you coming soon on MTV! A rockin' bankroll 
extravaganza featuring all your vigilante rock stars! Sammy 
Hagar...Sylvester Stallone...Clint Eastwood. It's so important we've even 
exhumed the bodies of Lynyrd Skynyrd! This ain't no sissy concert to raise 
food for the needy; this concerts whipped up the American way to raise 
money for guns for the greedy! So stay tuned and dig in those heels 
for...USA FOR SOUTH AFRICA! 

It's USA for South Africa 'cause those poor, sex-starved riot battalions 
need more machine guns, more tear gas, more nerve gas, more electric 
fences for those prison camps they call "homelands." And who's going to 
give it to them? WE ARE! Every one of us! Everytime we go to the bank. 
Everytime we buy food at Theftway. Or those fancy chrome wheels for your 
hotcar. It's USA FOR SOUTH AFRICA! 

Don't delay! Apartheid is a BIG business! What would these American ladies 
do without those diamonds? You heard the White House...DON'T MISS IT! Have 
you're rich parents' money ready, world hunger's gone forever once your 
check's in the mail when MTV and the rock and racism connection bring you 
live, from Sun City, USA FOR SOUTH AFRIA! 

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Anarchy for Sale

Step right up folks 

Anarchy for sale! 
T-shirts only 10 dollars 
Badges only 3.50 
I nicked the design, never asked the band 
I never listen to them either 

Buy buy buy from Circle A 
Like hula hoops, it's a disposable craze 
Another fast-food fad to throw away 

CHORUS 
Get your anarchy for sale 
Anarchy for sale 
Anarchy for sale 

Sheep unite! 
Get your cuddly boots and studs 
Be sure to rebel in proper style 
Rebel along the paths we pick 
Out of fear of peer pressure we create 

Hey you!- 
Get those flyers off my wall 
No commie peace shit in my boutique 
No one here cares what that all means 

CHORUS 

Our town sucks 
Our scene rules 
To belong you must buy into it 
So we sold you metal spike bracelets.... 

C'mon let's see a good fight 

CHORUS 

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Chickenshit Conformist

Punk's not dead 
It just deserves to die 
When it becomes another stale cartoon 
A close-minded, self-centered social club 
Ideas don't matter, it's who you know 

If the music's gotten boring 
It's because of the people 
Who want everyone to sound the same 

Who drive bright people out 
Of our so-called scene 
'Til all that's left 
Is just a meaningless fad 

Hardcore formulas are dogshit 
Change and caring are what's real 
Is this a state of mind 
Or just another label 

The joy and hope of an alternative 
Have become its own cliche 
A hairstyle's not a lifestyle 
Imagine Sid Vicious at 35 

Who needs a scene 
Scared to love and to feel 
Judging everything 
By loud fast rules appeal 

Who played last night? 
"I don't know, I forgot. 
But diving off the stage 
Was a lot of fun." 

CHORUS 
So eager to please 
Peer pressure decrees 
So eager to please 
Peer pressure decrees 
Make the same old mistakes 
Again and again, 
Chickenshit conformist 
Like your parents 

What's ripped us apart even more than drugs 
Are the thieves and the goddamn liars 
Flipping people off when they share their stuff 
When someone falls are there any friends? 

Harder core than thou for a year or two 
Then it's time to get a real job 
Others stay home, it's no fun to go out 
When the gigs are wrecked by gangs and thugs 

When the thugs form bands, look who gets record deals 
From New York metal labels looking to scam 
Who sign the most racist queerbashing bands they can find 
To make a buck revving kids up for war 

Walk tall, act small
Only as tough as gang approval 
Unity is bullshit 
When it's under someone's fat boot 

Where's the common cause 
Too many factions 
Safely sulk in their shells 
Agree with us on everything 
Or we won't help with anything 
That kind of attitude 
Just makes a split grow wider 

Guess who's laughing while the world explodes 
When we're all crybabies 
Who fight best among ourselves 

CHORUS 

That farty old rock and roll attitude's back 
"It's competition, man, we wanna break big." 
Who needs friends when the money's good 
That's right, the '70s are back. 

Cock-rock metal's like a bad laxative 
It just don't move me, ya know? 
The music's OK when there's more ideas than solos 
Do we rally need the attitude too? 

Shedding thin skin too quickly 
As a fan it disappoints me 
Same old stupid sexist lyrics 
Or is Satan all you can think of? 

Crossover is just another word 
For lack of ideas 
Maybe what we need 
Are more trolls under the bridge 
Wil the metalheads finally learn something- 
Or will the punks throw away their education? 

No one's ever the best 
Once they believe their own press 
"Maturing" don't mean rehashing 
Mistakes of the past 

CHORUS 

The more things change 
The more they stay the same 
We can't grow 
When we won't criticize ourselves 
The '60s weren't all failure 
It's the '70s that stunk 
As the clock ticks we dig the same hole 

Music scenes ain't real life 
They won't get rid of the bomb 
Won't eliminate rape 
Or bring down the banks 
Any kind of real change 
Takes more time and work 
Than changing channels on a TV set 

CHORUS 

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Where Do Ya Draw the Line

Seems like the more I think I know 
The more I find I don't 
Every answer opens up so many questions 

anarchy sounds good to me 
Then someone asks, "Who'd fix the sewers?" 
"Would the rednecks just play king 
Of the neighborhood?" 

How many liberators 
Really want to be dictators 
Every theory has its holes 
When real life steps in 

So how do we feed 
And make room for 
All the people crowded on our earth 
And transfer all that wealth 
From the rich to those who need it 

CHORUS 
Where do ya draw the line 
Where do ya draw the line 
I'm not telling you 
I'm asking you 

Ever notice hard line radicals 
Can go on start trips too 
Where no one's pure and right 
Except themselves 

"I'm cleansed of the system." 
('Cept when my amp needs electric power) 
Or-"The Party Line says no. 
Feminists can't wear fishnets." 

You wanna help stop war? 
Well, we reject your application 
You crack too many jokes 
And you eat meat 

What better way to turn people off 
Than to twist ideas for change 
Into one more church 
That forgets we're all human beings 
Where do ya draw the line? 

In Toronto someone blew up 
A cruise missile warhead plant 
10 slightly hurt, 4 million dollars damage

Why not destroy private property 
When it's used against you and me 
Is that violence 
Or self-defence 
You tell me 

CHORUS 

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Potshot Heard Round the World

Hey! 
Yo! 
We're the United States Marines 

We know you've all been killing each other 
For at least two thousand years 

But we're here now 
To protect the family 
Of Christian heroin warlords 
Most friendly to the West 

So you knock off this fighting 
Or we'll tell Mom 

Ever notice news 
Is taged like TV wrestling shows 
With Reagans and Khaddafis cast 
As cartoon villains and heroes 

Or those wildlife "documentaries" 
Where a lion from a zoo 
Kills a deer tied down ahead of time 
At the perfect camera angle 

When lemmings balk at dying for Disney 
They're just hurled off the cliff... 

We are gathered here today 
To take photos of the President 
Pretending to mourn these brave young me 
Who came home from Beirut 
Gift-wrapped in body bags- 
A truck bomb blew them to bits 

We knew they were sitting ducks 
We sacrificed 'em, Aztec style 
So we could use their dead meat 
To cook up war fever back home 

So make sure you take lots of pictures 
And slant your news our way 
Just like in Wild Kingdom 
We first tied down the prey 

We want people boiling for revenge 
In their living rooms 
So we can go play shoot-em-up 
Anywhere we choose 
And our backers can cash in 
Without the public asking questions 

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D.M.S.O.

D - M - S - O 

Crypto 
Wonder 
Drug 
In vogue 

Some people say 
It cures arthritis 
Maybe that's why 
It keeps getting banned 

It's absorbed 
Directly through the skin 
Mix it with lemon juice 
Touch your fingertips 
You'll taste the lemon 

The police 
Started a riot 
Down at the courthouse 
Again 

Running amok 
Spilling blood 
Bashing heads 

I do my part 
Behind the lines 
Swabbing door handles of cop cars 
With D.M.S.O. 
Mixed with L.S.D... 

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Lie Detector

We have reviewed your yellow form 
Congratulations! 
we find you qualified 

You have just the right capacity 
For putting up with our nonsense 

There's just one thing you've got to prove 
We know how you must be dishonest and lazy 
If you're so desperate 
You actually want to work at this place 

CHORUS 
You must be guilty (lie detector) 
Guilty (lie detector) 
Guilty (lie detector) 
Guilty 'til you're proven innocent 
These days 

Blood pressure clamps around your arms 
Now don't get nervous when we yell in your face 
We know you steal- 
Just who do you screw? 
With what?! 
With who?!? 
Aren't you a Christian?!?!? 

The polygraph-don't make it move 
One little twitch, the anvil drops on you 
Don't matter if you told the truth 
We want your facial egg for our file 

CHORUS 

Guilty-'til proven innocent 
Guilty-It says so on your face 
Guilty-When you try to find a place to live or a job that pays 
Guilty-Whe you file a complaint against the cop that kicked your face last night 
Guilty-It says so on page 3 
Guilty-Who'd think a guy like me would plant drugs in your car 
Break in your house while you're asleep 
Open your mouth, bet your ass you're watched 
And it's your word against ours... 

Yeah, just because we're hiring you 
That don't mean we trust you at all 
YOu'll have to take a test like this 
Once or twice EVERY week 

We know machines, they make mistakes 
Yeah, it's your word against our dead black box 
The machine is always right 
'Cause we know how it makes you feel so small 

Because you're guilty (lie detector) 
'Til you're proven innocent these days 
No one's innocent these days 
'Cause when you're innocent it just don't pay 

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