He used to be a star of the stage and screen 
but now he only sees half of everything 
a funny little man with straight black hair 
he lost it in an accident but he doesn't care 

So, Where'd his eye go 
I don't know 
Where did his eye go 
I don't know 
But nothing can stop him now 

I saw him last night on the telethon 
he's doing candyman with his glasses on 
and then I saw him sing what kind of fool am I 
he whipped off his glasses and I looked at his eye 

But, Where'd his eye go 
I don't know 
Where did his eye go 
I don't know 
But nothing can stop him now 

(Break) 
We really love that boy 
he's brought us so much joy 
he even used to be a goy 
but things are different now 
and I'm still wonderin how 
He'll keep an eye out for me now and then 
but does he see in 3D 
Where did his eye go 
Is it lookin at me 

He used to be a star of the stage and screen 
but now he only sees half of everything 
a funny little man with straight black hair 
he lost it in an accident but he doesn't care 
 
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Fan Mail 

Dear sirs, 
To whom this may concern 
there’s facts Id like to learn 
so many things I wanna know 
especially trivial info paraphernalia badges and regalia 
please send me everything 
cuz I 
am interested in you 
and every thing you do 
I find myself at all your shows 
could you tell me where you buy your clothes 
could you sign my little sisters face 
put your signature any place and please send me a bio 

Cuz we’ve got fan mail 
we really really read it 
Fan mail 
we really really need it 

I sent you my letter now I want a reply 
you don’t know any better than you won't take your time with my 
Fan Mail 

So I would like to know just if and when 
you’ll be in town again 
so that I could meet with you 
and brag at my friends at school 
have you been all around the world 
have you seen every kind of girl 
or are you from the other side 

cause you 
you can't believe everything that you read 
with the hypocrysy and the greed 
the papers all the things that they say 
they don't tell me anything anyway 
that's why I've gotta get it straight from you 
concerning your situation 
without an obligation 

Break 
My Fan mail (Oohs and Aahs) 

What's this I find to my surprise 
those fans that I idolized 
no longer seem to exist 
now tell what can be the cause of this 
perhaps it could be their egos 
I tell you heaven only knows 
I didn't even get a newsletter 

Fan Mail Send it out to me 
Fan Mail Special delivery 
 
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Manny, Moe And Jack 

When your on the road 
and your car wont pull that load 
and your wheels aren’t feeling fine 
Well I know of this joint 
where they’ll check your plugs and points 
I know these guys they're three good friends of mine 

Manny Moe and Jack 
They know what I’m after 
Manny Moe and Jack 
They Know what I’m after 
They're Manny Moe and Jack 

Once your inside 
they wont take you for a ride 
they got a good deal for you and your automobile 
for the right price 
they will sell you fuzzy dice 
and leather hand grips for your steering whee-al 

Chorus 

If its tires you want they got a lot for you 
Dunlop, Firestone, Pirelli too 

(8X)Many Moe and Jack! 
They know what I’m after 
 
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Infidel Zombie 

Well I've been running for a while 
and I know that I'm next in line 
she's been gettin trigger happy 
and I've heard so far that she's killed 9 

well it's a complicated tale 
with a price on my head 
and a sharp looking agent who 
wants to find me certified dead 

She's an infidel zombie 
she gets depressed with duress 
a love that cannot find me 

Let me tell you 
I don't believe it 
There's a bullet with my name on it now 

They caught me once while I was out messin around 
they put me in cemented wedges but I didn't drown 
I'm back on the streets and running for my life again 
but I know they'll tear it down and they're gonna start 
to close in 

Chorus 
 
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Tricia Toyota 

I came home one night tuned my T.V. in 
my favorite show was about to begin 
as I was scanning across the dial 
I saw her read the news with delectable style 
Then I was sure that within a while 

I was Stuck 
Stuck in a pagoda 
with Tricia Toyota 
I’m Stuck 
We were watching Abe Vigoda 
then every thing will be fine 

Later that night we went for a drive 
and I can say I never felt more alive 
taking in the sights of old Tokyo 
with Tricia by my side and money to blow 
I knew then I never wanted to let her go 

Chorus 

Lead 

Chorus 

Always in a daze Always in a dream 
Always find that things are not what they seem 
A little Asian Goddess came from up above 
I thank you NBC for sending my love 
And Tricia is the one I've been dreaming of 

Chorus 
 
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I've Got A Splitting Hedachi 

Well it's a chilly chilly evening 
and you're burning with desire 

Get it up, get it up, get it up and go 

I've been doin calestenics 
just to try to get in shape now 

Get it up, get it up, get it up and go 

The set is on and I'm watching a show 
but I can do it if you really must know 

I should of known by you actions 
what you're disposition's geared for 
but I've had a busy morning 
and my cranium is getting sore 

Because I've got a splitting hedachi 
And I don't wanna serve you now 
Oh, I've got a splitting hedachi 
now 

you said that you would give me head 
but I'd rather watch Johnny instead 

Well its pushin 2:30 
and you're feelin really dirty yeah 
you got my hand on my member 
and you're tryin to get a tremor yeah 

I can't stand it now the pain is so bad 
but its the worst thing a guy ever had 

Chorus 

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