Idjit Savant
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Welcome To The Diamond Mine
Toxic Avenger
Zeppelina
Stuck Inside A Condo With Marlon Brando
Just Say Yes
Make It So
I'm On Crack
Oh Boy!
Roadkill
House Of Raoul
Song Of The Dawn
 
Welcome to the Diamond Mine

Now we go into the diamond mine 
Nobody knows what we might find 
Leftover licks from Jimmy Page 
Parsley, sage, "Rosemary" and thyme 

Don't take me down 
You're gonna lose your marbles in the diamond mine 
Don't take me down 
Welcome to the diamond mine 

People tellin' me it's dark down here 
There's nothin' to fear except fear itself 
Jellybeans are poppin' outta my fez 
Simple Simon says, "You better hang on to your elf!" 

Don't take me down 
I don't want to lose my marbles in the diamond mine 
Don't take me down 
Welcome to the diamond mine 

Don't tell me that you're cursed with a yardstick for the universe 
Don't be afraid of what you'll find 
 
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Toxic Avenger 

Out of the rust and into the slime 
Everybody knows that he's here for mankind 
Toxic Avenger 
Would you believe-a mouse to a man! 
No one from this planet can realize his plan 
Toxic Avenger, Toxic Avenger 

Out of the dark and into the light 
Mercilessly devastating his enemies, turning wrong to right 
Toxic Avenger, Toxic Avenger 

But nobody loves him and he's such a lonely man 
All they ask from him is to guard this promised land 

Out of the rust and into the slime 
Everybody thinks that he's out of his mind 
Toxic Avenger 
 
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Zeppelina 

I saw you on the corner yesterday 
I couldn't think of anything to say 
But you just walked right by me 
So I felt that I was standing in your way 

I saw you at a party just last week 
I tried to talk but I could hardly speak 
But you jsut walked right by me 
So I ran to mix myself another drink 

Zeppelina, you are all that is dear to me 
Zeppelina, I'm so proud that you're in my family tree 
I wish that I was handsome and was wise 
But you won't listen to my alibis 
I'll have to wait for Halloween 
So that way I can see you in disguise 

Zeppelina, you are all that is dear to me 
Zeppelina, I'm so proud to have you in my family tree 

I used to dream about you in my sleep 
That when I woke up you'd be mine to keep 
But now that I am married to you 
I've been counting pigs instead of sheep 
 
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Stuck in a Condo with Marlon Brando 

I'm stuck inside a condo with Mr. Marlon Brando 
He tells me, "Get the butter," sounds just like my mother 
He wasn't nice to Connie 
His son, he shot somebody 
For messin' with his daughter 
Just like the Godfather 

I'm stuck inside a condo with Mr. Marlon Brando 
He's heavy and he's hairy 
He's really scaring me...Marlon Brando 

Well, I saw him in a movie 
He used to be so groovy 
Now he's eating mashed potatoes 
He's a human Winnebago 

I'm stuck inside a condo with Mr. Marlon Brando 
He's a heavy dingleberry 
He's really scary...Marlon Brando 

Domino's delivery has brought me to him 
Cheese and pepperoni, watch him shovel it in 
He's giving me a lecture on the wages of sin 
Mr. Brando, please show me the door 
 
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Just Say Yes 

You say there's someplace that you gotta be 
Find peace of mind and serenity 
With a little help from modern chemistry 
25 dollars can buy it 
Just say yes...yes 
Just say yes...yes 

You're sliding down that slippery slope 
You're the very reason why they call it dope 
Yellin' for someone to throw yo uthe rope 
Tell all your friends they should try it 
Just say yes...yes 
Just say yes...yes 

I don't know what they're saying 
Russian roulette I'm playing 
It's straight I should be staying 
Inside a chapel praying 
My conscience I'll be saving 
For now I'll just keep saying yes 

Now I'm age 43 
Waiting by the phone for a new kidney 
I wish I didn't have to hurt to take a pee 
That's not gonna stop me 
Just say yes...yes 
Just say yes...yes 
Just say yes 
 
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Make It So 

Set the controls for the Neutral Zone-make it so 
Where no one's gone before is where we'll boldly go 
Kunta Kinte's blind and he's at the controls, oh no! 
It's hard to navigate with an air filter stuck on your nose 

CHORUS 
Make it so 
Live long and prosper 
Make it so 
Gold-press latinem 
Make it so 
Assimilate all of them 

Make it so 

Secure the bridge 'cause we're moving faster than light 
Alien gods of Cardassia are happy tonight 
We're flying through the stars and we're hitting the bars, all right! 
Data's going to tell me that the Romulans will put up a fight 

CHORUS 

We're going to fly the friendly skies 
Take a word now to the wise 
Where we're going no one knows 
The Enterprise is out of control 

Won't you make it so 
Like Edgar Allen Poe 
Or maybe G.I. Joe? 
Hey everybody, 
Let's go! 

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I'm on Crack 

I'm on crack 
I'm on crack 
It's giving me a heart a-ta-ta-tack 
I'm on crack 

I used to hang around at the waterslide 
Now I'm taking my strawberry for a ride 
I used to have firends, now I'm a loner 
'Cause a twenty dollar rock is giving me a boner 

On crack 
I'm on crack 
It's giving me a heart a-ta-ta-tack 
I'm on crack 

Crack crack crack 

Straight shooter 
Get the chore boy 
Dorsal rooter used to be my pride and joy 
Face of fire 
Don't look back 
Richard Pryor, copper wire 
Burn that mutha 'till it turns black 

I used to hang around at the waterslide 
Now I'm taking my strawberry for a ride 
I used to be a dude, now I'm a homey 
If you don't like that then go ahead and blow me 

On crack 
I'm on crack 
It's giving me a heart a-ta-ta-tack 
I'm on crack 

I'm doing lines all the time 
John Belushi was a friend of mine 
Can't relate, I'm losin' weight 
The thin white duke is on my favorite plate 
A dummy line doin' crime 
Standing on the street selling my behind 
Grinding my jaw, breakin' the law 
Stealing tens and twenties from my ma and pa 

To buy crack 
I'm on crack 
I'm on crack 
I'm on crack 
 
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Oh Boy! 

I feel like a king 
I feel like a king 

Oh boy! Oh boy! 
I feel like a king 
I'm eating all my greens 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 

Oh, oh my oh my 
Life's a piece of pie 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 
I'm sittin' on the throne 
Playin' the Ramones 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 

Axl Rose on my empty V 
I don't know why he's not as pretty as me 
But I'm still being who I wanna be, oh boy! 

I'm livin' my life, I'm livin' my life 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 
I'm livin' my life, I'm lookin' for a wife 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 
Stanley got a rash, he's growin' a moustache 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 
Chuck Wagon got too weird, the others disappeared 
Oh boy! Oh boy! 
I feel it shakin' outside 
It doesn't matter oh momma, momma, oh boy! 
Oh boy! I'm swingin' oh boy! 
 
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Roadkill 

I'm drivin' my pickup truck 
I'm feelin' mean and I'm getting drunk 
I drive all over town 
Find a little critter and I run it down 
Hit the brights and watch 'em freeze 
Turn a little animal into head-cheese 

Oh, it's roadkill 
Drivin' around in my automobile 
For roadkill 
Ain't gonna stop 'til I get my fill 

Out there by the side of the road 
Might be a bunny or maybe a toad 
It's guts are hanging out 
Only one eye and part of a snout 
I still don't think it's dead 
Put it in reverse and squish it's head 

Oh, it's roadkill 
Drivin' around in my automobile 
For roadkill 
Climb out of the cab and hand me a drill 
Roadkill 
Ain't gonna pay their hospital bills 
Roadkill 
Kill a little critter just to get my thrill 

Are you gonna run 'em down right now? 
Yeah, I'm gonna run 'em down right now 

If you drive 405 
You won't find anything left alive 
Suckin' suds while I'm makin' time 
Squashin' little animals flat as a dime 
These critters don't have a prayer 
I just ran over Smokey the Bear 

Now he's roadkill 
Drivin' around in my automobile 
For roadkill 
Climb out of the cab and hand me a drill 
Roadkill 
Ain't gonna pay their hospital bills 
Roadkill 
Kill a little critter just to get my thrill 
I love roadkill 

Hit the lights 
Squeeze 'em in my sights 
Somebody's pet gonna need a vet 
Ran one over but he ain't dead yet 
This truck's a killin' machine 
Pedal to the metal and I'm feelin' free 
Somebody's kitty's gonna need a hysterectomy 

I love roadkill 
 
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House of Raoul 

Wake me up in the morning 'cause 
We're going to the House of Raoul 
I'm giving you a warning 
Tell me, are you a man or a mouse? 

House of Raoul, House of Raoul 
I was cookin' cabbage in the House of Raoul 
Gonna get evicted from the House of Raoul 

Tell me when we're leavin' 'cause 
We're rocking at the House of Blue Lights 
While the train is leavin' 
I'm drinkin' beer and watching the fights 

House of Raoul, House of Raoul 
I was cookin' cabbage in the House of Raoul 
Won't you please evict me from the House of Raoul? 
 
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Song of the Dawn 

Wake from your sleep all you weary ones 
Who are leary of the night 
Look to the east all you dreary ones 
Who are waiting for the light 

Dawn is breaking and a new day is born 
The world is singing the song of the dawn 
Birds are singing 
Hear them welcome the morn 
They're sweetly singing the song of the dawn 

Yesterday the sky was grey 
Look this morning they're blue 
The smiling sun tells everyone 
Come and start life anew 

Sing hallelujah 
For the dark night is gone 
The world is singing the song of the dawn 
Sing hallelujah 
For the dark night is gone 
The world is singing the song of the dawn 

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