Camp Fire Girl #62

She’s got the healing powers of medicinal weed
And she feeds herself the same ole crap she feeds to her iguana
And she won’t go to the bar
God forbid that she drive 
And she won’t go to the bar
And of course she will protest the war

Chorus:
I get excited when I see her
You better pass me the saltpeter
Like a sailor on shore leave
Like a recent parolee
I want to date her but first bathe her
She always eating echinacea
On her feet are birkenstocks
I guess my head is filled with rocks

Most of her friends are never happy
That is unless they’re bitchin
She looks down upon my comrades like they’re carcinogen
She doesn’t know what she’s fighting for
Like a modern day conquistador
And of course she will protest the war
And even though she’s an idiot

(chorus)

She doesn’t know what she’s fighting for
Like a modern day conquistador
And of course she will protest the war
And even though she’s an idiot
Even though she’s an idiot

(chorus)

I guess my head is filled with rocks rocks rocks

back

Scholarship In Punk

You know I never liked high school
Though it was my intent
To land a scholarship in punk
And avoid imprisonment

Yeah my rules 
That’s the way it had to be
Not scholastically involved
Fill the girls with alcohol

Be more like me and you’ll run the company
To get a job was your intent
But it seems irreverent
When you’re fifteen years 
Who the hell really cares
All that counts is getting laid
Hate her braces love the braids

Chorus:
The one thing I liked about going to school
Was falling in love with a beautiful girl like you

You know I never liked high school
My destiny was not 
To be literate in math
I would rather take a bath
In my own crap

So don’t ask me to a dance
I would rather sit in class
Than be with you and make an ass
Out of myself or to learn the saxophone
Least important were the A’s
Stealing Mr. Sims toupee

When you’re fifteen years
Who the hell really cares
All that counts is getting laid
Hate her braces love the braids

(chorus)

Some say I’m not too bright
Sometimes I think that they are right
Sometimes I think I should be president
But I’m remembering your words

(chorus)

But I’m remembering you’re words
The one thing I liked about going to school
Was falling in love with a beautiful girl like you

Like you

Like you

Like you

Girl like you

back

Gusto

Chorus:
Well I’m going for the gusto
No not because I’m supposed to
It’s a well-known fact 
No I’ll never look back
Gonna have another beer
Yeah I’m going for the gusto
No not because I’m supposed to

Most folks sit and watch tv 
And think that they’re alive
Football, frozen dinners, in-laws
The good times never die
And once in awhile I see myself
And it makes me want to cry
Suddenly I realize
These good times are a lie

(chorus)

I used to walk her home from school
Each and every day
My friends would laugh and throw some rocks
But they too knew she was great
Till I saw her swapping kisses
With that guy named Gary Tate
So I kicked his ass off the overpass
That’s back when I was eight

(chorus)

At my brother’s wedding
She done ask me fur a dance
I told that gal I ain’t real good
But I guess I’ll take a chance
With the lights turned low
The music slow
Seemed to put her in a trance
Well fuck this shit
I’m doing it
I’m pulling down my pants

(chorus)

back

Vacation

I never wanted to be in charge
I never really wanted to have a big car
I was always told if I worked real hard
I’d always be a sucker 
And my life would pass me 
Take a minute to stop and listen
Not everything I do has reason
I’m not always gonna get things right
The mistakes I’ve made
They’re gonna get paid
(chorus) I need a vacation
A holiday in the sun
I need a vacation
From you
Try to stop but please don’t dare me
Doing wrong but the cops don’t scare me
Two wrongs gonna make it right
Do it my way all night long
Never listen to a word you say now
Gonna write my own book to live now
People always want to tell me how to live my life
(chorus)
Try to stop but please don’t dare me
Doing wrong but the cops don’t scare me
Two wrongs gonna make it right
My way all night long
Try to stop but please don’t dare me
Doing wrong but the cops don’t scare me
Two wrongs gonna make it right
Do it my way all night long
Never listen to a word you say now
Gonna write my own book to live now
People always want to tell me how to live my life
(chorus)

back

Contagious

(chorus) One look at you is so contagious
One kiss and mononucleosis
Like a pit bull bite or staring at the sun
One look is all it took to notice
One kiss and you have left me joyless
Like a fugitive or love with no passion
Was this a test 
A test to reinforce I was obsessed
A test to see how much I would digest
A consciousless mind rape 
But then you go and beat me like the rest
(chorus)
I wonder why
You’d taken all my money 
Then you’d lie
And when there was no more I pacify
You’re every need and whim 
But then you go and bleed me til I’m dry
I wonder why
You’d taken all my money 
Then you’d lie
And when there was no more I pacify
You’re every need and whim 
But then you go and bleed me til I’m dry
(chorus)

back

Pee In The Shower

I’m not who you think I am 
And I think you could use a head exam
And I know I’m not always right
But how can we make babies
If you won’t spend the night
Just because I live like an animal
(chorus)Room smells like a petting zoo
Sometimes I go pee in the shower
Does not mean I don’t love you
Not me not me…no no no
Not me not me
Maybe all your friends were right
One look at me no more appetite
And maybe you’ll give me a chance 
I’d take you out to dinner 
But I can’t find my pants
(chorus)
Not me not me…no no no
Not me not…no no no
Nobody knows nobody knows
(chorus)
Love you, a hole bunch of times

back

Walk Of Shame

In the hall late for class
Night before still kickin my ass
Forty minutes till I’m on my own
Forty-five till my mind is blown
Pulling in to the neighborhood
Another night up to no good
Forty dollars to be feeling fine
Split a bindle and a jug of wine
Hauling ass in the B210
Empty bottles telling where we’ve been
Takin corners way too fast
End up on the neighbors grass
Pushing out to the street again
Come the cops 
Put it all to an end
Screaming neighbors want to kick my arse
(chorus) I’m walking home again
No use explaining where I’ve been
I’m walking home again oh yeah
I’m walking home again 
No use explaining where I’ve been
I’m walking home again oh yeah
Another weekend it’s all the same
This time there’s no one else to blame
Nine am has gone too far
Checking in to the first ER
Walking out on my feet again
Good times they never seem to end
Better days will never feel so bad
(chorus)
Hauling ass in the B210
Empty bottles telling where we’ve been
Takin corners way too fast
End up on the neighbors grass
Pushing out to the street again
Come the cops 
Put it all to an end
Screaming neighbors want to kick my arse
(chorus)
I’m walking home again

back

My Town

My town
Is a place you’ll never come in last
My town
Is a place that’s upside down
My town
Is a place you’ll always have a full glass
Once upon a time in a fabricated land
There lived a town that was custom made for
People not understood
The chosen few and they held their flag up high
Though colored black
Red was the color of their sky
If you want in, you want in, you want in
But to get in, to get in, to get inside
No parent no fences no credit cards
No data no children no lowered cars
Culture wears a face that is hidden with a grin
The Jones’ left so no keeping up with them
The rumors are that nobody thinks the same
Fame is abolished so you’ll never need a name
If you want in, you want in you want in
But to get in, to get in to get inside
No teachers no kittens no wedding plans
No feelings no hunger, no hip hop jams
My town
My town oh oh oh
(chorus)

back

Contribution

My restitution to society means stay away
And equals empty grants of time
The cleansing of a conscience brought by petty empathy
Helps well to do’s sleep through the night
(chorus) not gonna say I’m sorry would society even care
not gonna volunteer my time to
cracked out mothers
all the others 
who wasted every chance they’re given
not gonna say I’m sorry my anger won’t turn to shame
you’ll get no apology
cuz I don’t care
I came from nothing started something
Discipline was learned 
That’s self-sufficiency obtained
My offerings are put on hold till I get some return
Those seeking handouts never change
(chorus)

back

Foot-Long

(chorus) I want to give you all of my foot long
Unwrap my hot dog and place it in your bun
Vacation without sun
Cop without a gun
That’s what she told me 
So I guess there’ll be no you
She sees right through me
I’m told my shallowness runs deep
You work the drive thru
Don’t need a guy like you
Cuz not just anyone will do
(chorus)
You ain’t no heartthrob
You’d better hold on to your job
She said I’ve seen your band
You guys ain’t got a chance
But now I’m begging you to sing
(chorus)
That’s what she told me so I guess there’ll be no you

back

Looking Out For #1

There must be someone out there 
Who’s smiling down on me
It’s not really fair 
I don’t even care
Bestow no pity on me
We all must choose a path
In rough to our demise
Some people say no to a fork in the road
But I will never think twice
A wench might make you happy
But only half the time
Be takin no wife
Or filling my life 
With heartache pain and strife
(chorus) If I had my way 
I would roam around the world
A beer from every land 
And an eye on every girl
When your life is over
And you time has finally come
You’ll never have regrets
Looking out for #1
I don’t need no money 
Of fame or fancy cars
You’d better heed 
I got what I need 
No home and electric guitars
Now that the end is near 
A light goes on inside your head
While I was sailing the seven seas
You were putting the children to bed
(chorus)
argh oi argh oi

back

Twins

When I think of you
I ponder all the things ah that we could do
Like take-away some Chinese 
And we’ll make home brew
That’s what we could do
When I think of us
I want o sell my car off 
And I’ll take the bus 
And tell 100 strangers bout the two of us 
And your brand new bust
(chorus) It’s just you and me
How I wish we were Siamese
Joined together at the hip 
Walking down the sunset strip
It’s just you and me 
You and me
You and me
(chorus)
It’s just you and me 
Let’s buy a little boat and head out to sea
The captain will marry us
We’ll live so happily
Till we’re lost at sea
(chorus)
It’s just you and me
You and me you and me uh huh
just you and me
It’s just you and me

back

My Girlfriend

(chorus) My girl friend she makes me really sick
she makes me really sick 
when she’s dancing in the pit yea
my girl friend she makes me really 
makes me really sick
when she’s dancing in the pit 
with a tall boy in her hand
she’ll be rocking to the band
that girl can take the heat
and she’ll never claim defeat 
till yer lying on the floor
waiting for the encore 
from the offspring
Pennywise take the stage 
girly flies into a rage
like a baby throws a fit 
she’ll be right back in the pit
take an elbow to the nose
pickin fights and throwin blows
she really makes me
(chorus)
El hefe does his thing
and it makes her heart sing
I ask her to quit
But she’s right back in the pit
Taking names and kickin ass
While listening to crass
God please help me
Bad religion in her brand
Brett is back in the band
When I ask her on a date 
We get in a stalemate 
She would rather take a dive 
Off a stage a mile high 
Than see a movie
(chorus)

back

Lemon Water

(chorus) What in the hell is wrong with people
The deranged should be caged 
What is wrong with people 
It must be them can’t you see
That it couldn’t be me
Where their road ends 
That’s where mine begins…
There’s a giant hole in my heart
But all I have to do 
Is fill it up with alcohol
It closes all the holes
It hides all my boredom
And subdues my restlessness
It enhances my personality
But makes me order 3 orders of buffalo wings
When I would normally have just one
It forces me to bob my head to songs that I really really hate
And it makes me want to strike someone at the bar
Who orders 2 waters with lemon
And once again I find myself bobbing my head to a mediocre song
When I notice 2 marginally attractive girls parking it next to me at the bar
Sipping spring water with a twist of lemon
(chorus)
and I’m ready to puke when a small child sits next to me at the bar
but that’s ok because to me other people’s kids are fine
so it’s no surprise that it’s parents are ordering water with lemon
and a root beer for the child
do you ever find yourself striving for perfection 
with a virtually worthless attempt at it
and is that why I find myself eavesdropping constantly
sports bars are the best places to meet people you hate
not that I’ve actually met anyone 
it’s just a matter of listening to their conversations
and assuming that you hate them
when of coarse that probably isn’t true 
because I can get along with anyone if I absolutely have to
(chorus)
oh here we go a couple a few tables down just ordered lunch
the guy wearing a basketball tank top is having a veggie burger with fruit instead of fries
and his husky date is just having a salad…it must be their first date
and what goes better with rabbit food than ice water with a slice of lemon
sometimes I think if I could be anyone in the whole world I would be a magician
no than I would hate myself more than I already do
but at least then I could make all of these people in the bar be more like me
or even make them befriend me but then again I could become one of them
and only then would I understand the befits 
of putting a slice of lemon in ordinary drinking water
(chorus)