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What's The Big Deal?it's a 3 day weekendi'm loading up my truck got tons of beer might shot a deer blow the shit out of a duck stever's got a cross bow jamie a shotgun anything that fucking moves ready aim fire blam! oh my god i can't believe the antlers on that buck it would take 40 men to load him in the truck niceshot niceshot niceshot got that sucker right between the eyes, let’s get a cold one don love seats made from hides stock your smoke house full of meat pink & blue & yellow key chains made from rabbits feet trade your jerky to the indians enjoy a goon skin hat whip up some homemade crisco with the extra fat i`m wishin a flock of geese would fly on by i`m hopin i can bag not 4 but 5 reloldin jesus fucking christ that's the biggest moose i have ever seen get my gun god damn it get him if i can't shoot them i'll start a forest fire watch em run right at my gun no need for oscar meyer that's a fine looking piece of meat young man i'm ready for that one their yeah that ones for me. trophie on your wall slap some new boots on your feet th e wallet in my pocket kinda smells like meat a half a dozen ouail a hearty rack of lamb there must be 50 beavers in that fucking dam Lucky The Donkeymy mother fucked a donkeydown in mexico she had treinta margaritas treinta years ago her purse had just been stolen she rad to make some cash for fifty thousand pesos the donky fucked her ass i'm so ashamed it makes me sick my mothers box was his salt lick human - donky fornication her taco is the dest-in-a-tion it soon became apparent it wasn't for the dough a genuine fiesta - at the donkey show the crowd would shout ole as she nibled on his sack they never had a patron demand their money back the donkeys name was lucky oh boy he loved to fuck he'd get so damn excited he'd kick and make you duck if you want to be star just pull down your pants let lucky fuck your anus a real freak show in the pit the donkeys fucking my moms tits acting like a true ranchero dancing around a big sombrero lucky the luckiest donky lucky the luckiest donky lucky the luckiest donky lucky the luckiest donky Big Pink Dresshowdy folks its me againgot a message to convey i'm so confused what's to lose i think i might turn gay on the day my bitch left she said stick it up your rear she never thought she'd hear these words woo your mustache is so tickly down there drill my ass oh god it’s so tight drill my ass this is my first time drill my ass i love you/love you too i live with bill its such a thrill we get it on so fine we tend our garden everyday sometimes we get 69 play dress up and have puppet shows we skip and dance and sing he's so helpful he shaves my back mark it’s my turn to wear the cowboy hat it's so hard it feels so right it's so hard the way he holds me it's so hard i could just die when we go drinking it's so hard the we start thinking but doin it to liberace then we bake a quiche we went to church he held my hand i gazed into his eyes he kissed my ear i said oh dear my shaft began to rise he wispered let's get married i squeeked and shouted yes suddenly our live a big mess he wore a tux i wore a big pink dress drill my ass not sure i'm right drill my ass what was i thinking drill my ass i like bull fights drill my ass no more knittng drill my ass no more skipping i tried it once a whole 6 months so long mustache Do The Hustlehey how did everybody get in my roomit's saturday another perfect day till i hit the boardwalk headed towards the pier' your fucking gay/fuck you outta my way 50,000 jackoffs all on rollerblades greased up dolphin shorts wrist guards so it won’t hurt your mediocre girlfriend hits a parked car yea until the day/you learn to surf or skate college jack o faggot sportin oakley shades all on rollerblades crash helmets to be safe all on rollerblades yea crash helmets to be safe whoopie its fun to skate i'll do a figure 8 watch me do a circle going backwards down the stairs oh gee this is fun looks like i better run i4 guys on skateboards wanna ollie off my head yea this sport is so extreme you roller disco queens goin to do the hustle at the roller wonderland yea she blades to shrink her thighs so she can justify 2 all beef patties special sauce letuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun yea neat neat i really think its neat i'm stealing every trick from every skateboarder i meet neat neat i really think its neat you stupid faggot roller bladers roller wonderland cum guzzlin fruit cake i hope you break your hands roller wonderland cum guzzlin fruit cake i hope you break your fucking neck Good Fridaythank you for the easter bunnysitting at my door it wasn't made of chocolate but it shit right on my floor and thank you god for x-mas trees return the gifts for money thank you for my paycheck now heres your 10% i'd love to give you more but i bareley make my rent thank you lord for turning fruity grapes right into wine it sure does make it easy to out my pick up line once there was no t.p. inside my hotel room the bible had 10,000 pages i only used a few sunday school such a joy forced to fondle reverend roy good friday Bakers Dozenoh my godi'm confused i want to go punk but theres way to many rules pardon me mr. punker i'm looking for some insight on the core that's right for me so tell me please i'm on my knees i like my beer i like my steer i don't want any holes in my face i'm no oueer i bought some docs black flag rocks like to mosh and crowd surf i want to be unusual i wanna be punk rock i want to be unusual i wanna be punk rock should i be emo and just cry maybe i'll go skacore and skank until i die how about hardcore really hardcore i fucking hate that metal shit sober vegans you all suck so what's your core stupid whore must be a riot girrrl but you’re not yery funny hey nice tatoo use some shampoo rice cakes & soymilk go sid vicious skacore snow core hardcore homocore albacore can’t take it any more mycore your core thiscore thatcore one core i can’t take it Abort Missionits friday nighti've got a date with this vegan girl kate you know i really like her style smile style whoa! i love you kate but you've gone to far you won't even sit in my brand new car it's got reclining bucket seats and a cd player so what's your fucking beef is it my cozy leather seats is it the covers made from sheep then i guess that we can walk and walk and walk what kind of guy do you think i am you only take off your shoes when you’re in japan i bought this outfit just for you so what if their suede and now my jacket too so what am i supposed to do i'll freeze to death and get the flu ok i'll do it just for you and you you you we made it out and we had an ok time i caught pneumonia and a mild case of frostbite she said i'm sorry mark i hope that you pull through next time we go out please just wear some different shoes i tried to fuck her and you know what happened then she said that condom you've got is made from a lambs skin hey what's your problem last friday night you know i had this date it was with this vegan girl i think her name was kate if you’re lookin for some action or if you want to score just eat some bark or acorns and she will like you more than me Lipstickon a tuesday afternoonmy mom came into my room and said get the fuck up outta bed and get a god damned job so i told her hey fuck you yom and threw the phone at her head but i missed and hit her in the cunt so i slamed the door in her face and said don't ever barge in my room or i'll kick your ass and call the cops and tell them i'm abused and you'll wind up in jail while i go snowboarding in vail no one to post your bail cuz daddy loves me more he says that your a your worthless your lazy your stupid a little over wieght now give me 20 bucks no make it 5o bucks now mom writes me letters i write return to sender let her rot in her cell i watch the dogs mate on her bed s0 sorry mommy i had to pawn the china silver and all your jewelry i had to eat and rent a bunch of prostitutes like you When Hell Freezes Overi can't believewhat the fucks in front of me you must be fucking 70 at last what the hells your problem problem ozzy & motley crew & kiss i thought that you were through but i kinda liked the kiss show let's get ozzy off the stage let's get motley off the stage let's stanley off the stage tonight you were good 20 years ago too much pot a little too much blow now the bypass surgery new hip at seisure world enjoy your stay shuffle board bingo macrame 3 hot meals liquified for you S.D.F.B.she's a little angelonly 17 but she don't need no money she just winks her eye she won’t give you any but if you’re in a band then she'll call you daddy i think you understand mommy's little princess if they could see you now their precious little girl you know she's going down she thinks she's got them fooled but everyone sees that she ain't no angel but hell she aims to please she'll make you think that you're the one loves you for an hour than she's gone every weekend its another band she's seen everybody's tour van stay away from me, stay away from me you fucked all the punk bands it dont make you cool you have become a joke nobody needs you its time to be yourself its time to stop the act i might like you better so just get off your back. What If?dateline the early 1970'snow world famous rock quartet the doors, lead singer james morrison has recently died while down but certainly not out the surviving members desparetly tried to piece together their broken lives every option was considered, a new name the windows, the walls, even the door knobs ultimately, the band opted to carry on under the original doors name auditioning new singers. one young hopeful, a struggling art student from athens georgia, fred schnider, who went on to front the hugely successful b-52's tried out for this position the lyrical style of the young schnider more known for his quick wit and imprompto jams was hard fought to match the well structured melodies of the classic doors numbers. let's listen in... love me 2 times love me 3 times i've got me a car it seats about 20 so hurry up and bring your juke box money gloria gloria you’re livin in your own private idaho livin in your own private idaho this is the end this is the end wammy kiss me wammy hug revitalize me give me wammy love yea! light my fire we couldn't get much hire he was in a jam he's in a giant clam Perfect Worldif i lived in a perfect worldi would spend my days lying in the sun the party never ends in a perfect world if your life has hit the skids wave goodbye to the wife & kids i'm ready to move into a perfect world nacho cheese and anarchy boy that sure sounds good to me every kind of drug is free in the new america shoot your pistol in the air celebrate a brand new year living leisurely in a perfect world everybody's drinking hams good by all you straight edge bands sit around and get a tan in the new america when i turn on my t.v. nothing but pornography no more rated "g" in a perfect world strung out hookers everywhere have a picnic feed the bears now nobody even cares in the new america nothing in this worlds for free cause everything belongs to me no more green fees in a perfect world Goldi think i've been infected with the fluonce again bordems got me feeling blue sometimes in this life you`ve got to cut the crap sit down for my rights cuz i don't care to do what everybody else would do. i'm fine right here i voted once but i didn't win. i'll never vote again people say i should give a damn people say that i should respect this land but i say no way i wont compromise either way my life remains the same its great, come join me at the lake it's freshly stocked no work just play leeching off the state all day clears my mind they say this is the land of the free to me that means i have the liberty to sit for my rights cuz i don't care to do what everybody else would do i'm fine right here i voted once but i didn`t win i'll never vote again god bless america home of the whopper god bless america billions billions served every week from moscow to madagascar, ronald mcdonald’s smile warms the hearts of all people regardless of race. color, creed, sex and social status by opening 3 new mcdonalds restaurants as ambasador of my country, america, ronald personally invites you to join him on his quest to end world hunger enjoy Musical Monkeyi`ve got a fanzineso i should know everything about every band i turned punk 2 years ago i tell my subjects i'm d.i.y. i'll call your band a sellout & i'll tell convienient lies i've got a lot of staples and to much... time to trash a band they fucking blow since i wasn't on the list i didn't make the show oh well no major labels they really suck except for bad religion can't get their sticker off my truck got my own agenda i write the rules i'll use my moms cash nobody knows you calling me a liar yea my story has some holes start a label rip off the bands liberate the punk scene part of my master plan if it's in my zine it must be true who told you i`m always crying just because i'm getting sued that guys an asshole that bands on ludes i guess my little fanzine is like the weekly world news |
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