Sometimes I think of all the places where I don't 
wanna go 
Then I think of all the things that I don't wanna do 
And when I think of all the people that I don't wanna 
meet 
I close my eyes and go to sleep 

Tully, baby, you're trapped behind your golden bars 
I'm the prince of poverty hangin' out in bars 
Your life's a Mercedes, a mansion with a pool 
My life's on a bus stop just waiting for some fuel 

Your obviousness disgusts me I see thru your macho 
lies 
I'll fight everything you stand for 
There's something in your purse baby, my head is 
getting sore 
Maybe what we had was just green corn 

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THE MORON BROTHERS 

Talking about the Moron Bros', tattooed fingers, 
tattooed toes 
They're idiots, losers, they're scum 
Taking advantage of everyone 
You're a dog, they're your fleas 
Doing everything they can to spread disease 

They'll take your beer, they'll take your drugs 
Leave with you microscopic bugs 
Their company is something you won't miss 
Then your icetrays are filled with piss 
They are the Moron Brothers 
Don't get along with others 

They'll whine, they'll bitch, they'll fuck you if you're rich 
They'll leach, they'll latch, they are the itch you can't 
scratch 
Do do do do do do do do da do do... 

They'll ink your face, tape your eyelids closed 
Tabasco's in your mouth, 
there's mustard up your nose 
When your head is shaved you'll think the worst has 
passed 
Just try to move your leg 
they've put you in a cast 
They are the Moron Brothers 
Don't get along with others 

They may not go down in history 
But they'll go down on your sister 

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SHOWER DAYS 

In the morning I awake 
I feel my bladder about to break 
I scratch my balls I rub my eyes 
Just feeling lousy 

My girlfriend tells me that 
It's time to take a bath 
I say, "No, not today, it's only Tuesday" 

Once every 24 hours 
I'm supposed to take a shower 
That's not the way I do it 
Do it do it 

Personal hygiene is the last thing on my mind 
I don't want to do it 
Do it do it 

It doesn't make a difference to me 
Everyday I do the same old thing 
So why should I have to be clean? 

Those dreaded Wednesdays and Saturdays 
Also known as shower days 
I hate them 

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FOOD, SEX AND EWE 

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me 
I'd rather watch 10 hours of T.V. 
But since I can't I'll think of food 
I'll think of sex 
I'll think of music 
And I'll think of you 

I'd rather have a cold one by the sea 
I'd rather have you sitting on top o'me 
But since I'm here and you're so far away 
I'll read about Zaphod Beeblebrox 
As I pass the day, hey 

I'd rather not spend my whole night driving 
I'd rather not be on so much caffeine 
But since you're in bed and I'm sleeping 
on some floor 
I'll think of you and I'll wish that I was home 

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JUST THE FLU 

Looking back to the past, 
predictions of the end 
Unseen ultra violet rays 
are beating on my head 
Nuclear threat wanna bet will be our demise 
The day will come when we'll look to apocalyptic skies 

When the news had spread, that soon we'd all be 
dead 
Well it just blew our minds 
No one could have guessed that our worst fears at 
best 
Figments of our time 

So it seems that our dreams will never come to be 
How could such a stupid thing destroy humanity? 
A few weeks till extinction and there's nothing we can 
do 
A message sent to other worlds will say, "It was just the flu" 

There's no lesson to be learned 
There's no one left to learn it 

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EL LAY 

Get out of my way, 
can't you see I'm from L.A.? 
Yeah, I met Slash, I've got a rose tattoo 
I bet I know way more people than you 

I just love this town, 
my girlfriend weights 84 pounds 
Met her at the Cathouse where I get in for free 
She pays the rent while I watch T.V. 

When we go out tonight, 
gotta get my hair just right 
Tight black pants and blue suede shoes 
I'll get my picture in Rock City News 

Gotta get those flyers out, 
might meet a talent scout 
And he will talk contracts with me 
My fame and fortune and MTV 

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NEW BOOBS 

Something is lacking, I'm not attracting 
My boobs are not as big as I want them to be 
I want 36D 

I'm not receiving enuff affection 
Gonna get me a silicon injection 
And fulfill my dreams, bust through my seams 

My social life is pathetic, I can't find a man 
When I need is cosmetic surgery 
Be the best I can be 

Proteins, and milkshakes, mass vitamin consumption 
Who needs to diet when liposuction 
is painless and quick, local anesthetic 

Now my body is a model, a flawless perfection 
I most certainly will cause an erection 
wherever I go, but I still don't know 

The reason why I can't find a mate 
Guys I meet ejaculate 
Then leave through the door, 
I can't take anymore 

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CHEESE 

It's been a long time 
Now it's time to get your bubble burst 
Things are bad enough in this world 
Why do you have to make them worse? 
Day after day, you just gotta get it 

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WHERE'S MY SLICE? 

So sick and tired of your bitching and complaining 
So long you've been oppressed while others lives are 
gaining 
Want reparations, you're needy and deserving 
Can't understand why some are served while you're 
doing the serving 
Anything but responsibility 

Where's my slice? 
I want more than equal rights 
I want everything for free! 

You waste your time concerned with what others are 
earning 
You want a revolution to start the tables turning 
A demonstration to make a better nation 
We'll spend the day protesting all the problems that 
we're facing 
Anything but face reality 
Where's my slice... 

Your brilliant theory 
how the world owes you a living 
You'll take away from others 
the things they should be giving 
They own the pie and you want your share 
Whoever told you life was fair? 
You were dealt your hand - now play it 

Where's my slice... 

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TOGETHER ON THE SAND 

Together on the sand, 
we walked hand in hand 
On the beachfront, she smiled at me 
As she tightly held my hand 
I had my finger up her... 
Country music played on the radio 
So I turned it off and we walked down 
To the water, as she grabbed on to my honker 
A wave swept us away 

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NOWHERE 

You can't believe the things you see and read 
The Soviet threat 
Our pseudo enemy 
What's scaring me? 
Our foreign policy 
To make the world safe for business 
Call it democracy 

Our human nature, it's all the same 
We spend our lives in the pursuit of happiness 
So stop the hate, open the iron gate 
It's our destiny to make the cold war history 

You think I give a shit 
If you're a socialist 
If you're a capitalist 
We've all got to exist 
On this planet with nowhere to run 
The millions of brainwashed must open their eyes 
We are one 

With us over here and them over there 
Barbed wire borders are going nowhere 

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BRAIN CONSTIPATION 

Somebody hear me, somebody listen to me 
Am I alone in this world 
Is there anyone listening? 
Appease me, can't find a reason to be 
Alienation, is taking over me 

I'm going away, can't go on any longer 
I really don't know why I just gotta die 
I never thought this was how it would end 

The body swinging, 
I see it over and over again 
Vanian singing, can I ever listen to it again? 
A cry for attention was a cry never heard 

With no one listening, 
there was nothing to be heard 
Nothing to be heard 

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GONOHERPASYPHLILAIDS 

Sitting in a room waiting for some news 
Sitting in a room with white knuckles 
Not feeling so good 
I didn't do the things I should 

I said, "Doc, tell me what's wrong with me" 
He had this expression he didn't know what to say 
"It seems that you've contracted a new strain." 

How could this happen to me? 
Another victim another casualty 
From fucking casually, another casualty 

All the times I should have worn a jimmy hat 
All the times I said, "What the fuck, 
I won't look back, that's not for me." 
I wouldn't listen to reason 
Now look at me 

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I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND 

Jenny, so many times I tried to get away 
But you kept following me all over town 
I'll display it, there's no way to say it 
I don't just want you, 
I just don't want you around 
I don't want you around, 
you follow me around 
It's really bringing me down. 
I don't want you around 

When it was time to go I had nothing to say 
Don't you look at me, 
don't you look at me that way 
"I love you!" Oh, really? Please go away 

What gave you the idea? 
Get it out of your head 
You follow us around, 
we're not the Grateful Dead 
I wanted to be friends but you wanted more 
So, like I told you before, 
I don't want you around 

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THE MALACHI CRUNCH 

Did you get that rush, that feeling, adrenalin 
pumping through your veins? 
A lifeless body in the gutter, city streets are stained 
How do you rationalize, what do you see 
in your reflection? 
A kid just having fun, A soldiers bloodied 
boot impression 
One for all and all for one, especially when 
it's ten on one 
You don't care what you're doing, you know 
it sure is fun 

If it happened to your mother would 
you laugh so hard? 
Well, that was someone's son or brother 
That you kicked so hard 

This time you went too far 
What's the matter, don't you feel alright? 
Do you feel remorse? 
Or are the handcuffs on a little too tight? 

Now that your friends are gone, you've got no 
defense, no protection 
5 or 6 times a day you receive your hot beef injection 
I hope every time you're cornholed 
terror fills your mind 
The one emotion you have inspired one too many 
times. 

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